Why Cloud Joined SOLDIER: A Deeper Psychological Genesis
We often look to the bridge accident and Cloud’s failure to save Tifa as the origin of his desire to join SOLDIER—to become a “special existence” in her eyes and get her to notice him. This interpretation is mostly based on the original game’s exposition. But I think there’s more to it, especially with the added layers introduced in Traces of Two Pasts, and likely to be further explored in the Lifestream scene of Part 3 in the Remake trilogy.
Cloud’s feelings of inadequacy and longing—toward Tifa, and more broadly toward the group—started earlier than the bridge. He began to turn away from Tifa before her mother died. His behavior shifted well before the bridge incident or even the event that led to it: Tifa’s mother’s death and her period of mourning. In TOTP, Tifa reflects on this, wondering when exactly they stopped being friends.
This is important for two main reasons:
- It reinforces that Cloud excluded himself from Tifa and the group—not the other way around, despite what many fans have believed due to mistranslations in the OG. This is clarified further by context in TOTP and Rebirth.
- It shows that Tifa was already a meaningful emotional presence in Cloud’s life from a very young age. Even though they were close as small children, Cloud made the choice to isolate himself around age 6 or 7, long before the major “catalyst” moment we usually point to.
Why does this matter? We know Cloud felt unworthy of Tifa. He masked these feelings by trying to prove himself and convincing himself he was better than the boys she spent time with. But this added context shows that Cloud’s sense of inadequacy, unworthiness, and his need to prove himself started before the bridge incident. That moment didn’t cause the complex—it confirmed it. It was the emotional affirmation of beliefs he already held about himself.
Eventually, when he learns about Sephiroth and SOLDIER, Cloud latches onto a path that could finally make him feel worthy. He sees a goal that gives him a way to channel all that buried emotion. This is supported by both the OG and 2,000 Gil to Become a Hero.
We haven’t yet seen this moment from Cloud’s point of view, but Tifa’s reflection on his early withdrawal feels like clear setup for a major emotional reveal in the Lifestream scene.
So what’s the ultimate point?
It seems that Cloud began distancing himself from Tifa because he didn’t understand the feelings he was beginning to develop for her. He didn’t know how to express them.
And, as is often the case with Cloud, his response was to run from those feelings and avoid dealing with them. This became the root of a much larger pattern—his tendency to create emotional facades to manage difficult inner experiences. It’s a defining part of his personality and journey.
I believe we’ll see this explored more deeply in the Lifestream. Tifa’s affirmation that she loved and accepted Cloud for who he truly was—before the SOLDIER persona—will be critical in helping him reclaim his identity and stabilize his psyche.
I also think this is why we’ve already seen the mountain incident from Tifa’s perspective in Rebirth. It wasn’t the ultimate catalyst we once thought it was. Instead, it was a narrative building block designed to strengthen Tifa’s faith in the real Cloud—his courage, his heart, and his care for her.
From Cloud’s side, the shift is no longer just about proving himself after he failed her. It’s about realizing that the root of it lies in his emotional confusion, his facade, and his need to be strong—all of which were driven by the depth of his love for her.
That love created the internal conflict that eventually led him to try to become someone not only worthy, but special to Tifa—not because he failed her, but because she had always meant that much to him. It became a self-fulfilling prophecy for Cloud, one that is finally purified in the Lifestream scene.